I was at The Voodoo lounge in Fukuoka a few years ago and members from Digital Underground were playing there unannounced, just cuz they were there. No cover, just good music.

 Deep Purple has a classic song, My woman from Tokyo.  Turning Japanese was a huge hit by the Vapors back in 1980.  Alcatrazz, Yngwie Malmsteen’s band with Graham Bonnet on vocals, did Hiroshima, Mon Amour. How many popular pop or rock songs can you think of that have Korea or anything to do with Korea in the title? I can think of only one – Ice Cube’s Black Korea.

                         Everytime I wanna go       get a fuckin’ brew
                         I gotta go down to the store with the two
                         Oriental one penny count muthufuckas
                         They make a nigga mad enough to cause a little ruckus                          

                           Thinkin every nigga in the world’s on the take
                           So they watch every damn move that I make
                           They think I’m gonna pull out a gat and try to rob
                           Their funky little store    but bitch I gotta a job

                            So don’t follow me up and down your market
                           Or your little chop suey ass will be a target
                           Of a nationwide boycott
                           Juice for the people, that’s what the boy got
 
                           So pay respect to the Black fist
                           Or we’ll burn your store right down to a crisp
                           And then we’ll see ya
                           Cuz you can’t turn my hood – into Black Korea 

Not very flattering. For anybody. It doesn’t paint a pretty picture but…the Death Certificate Album was the bomb. And yes, I did transcribe the lyrics from memory. Who would’ve thunk that back in 1991 when I was first listening to that, that I would move to Korea? Surely not I.

The first concert I ever attended was Cheap Trick – They have an album, Live at Budokan.  Other artists with a Live at Budokan album include: Bob Dylan, Dream Theater, Ozzy, Asia, and Avril Avigne.  I think of the metal bands I liked in the 80’s and live albums they made – Iron Maiden had Maiden Japan. The Scorpions made Tokyo Tapes. These bands not only came to Japan, they recorded live albums there. In the movie Spinal Tap, how did they make their comeback at the end of the movie? They toured Japan.

2. English language magazines – In Cheju, an enterprising young guy named Jim Saunders put together a
crew and got the backing of City Hall to help publish a bi-monthly magazine called “Jeju Life.” 



It basically featured places in Cheju that people should see and things in Cheju people should do. There’s a lot to do here for people of all ages: singles, couples, families, etc. They did it for a little over a year; now their publication is only available on-line.   wherever you want. 

 His magazine wasn’t ‘bad’ – I would never criticize the work of someone who produced so much with such few resources, but it was a little pathetic, that is, the finished product – in comparison to ‘real magazines’. Two months of work, a ton of money provided by “the city” to produce it. The final result – each issue was like 8 pages of glossy print. Basically, because it was a  foreign venture, they could not “sell advertising,” or pay the writers or staff. It was like a full time internship, all work was done by volunteers who did it for the experience and for something to do, and the result was a magazine you could read in one visit to the toilet – taking a piss.

So foreigners can’t start a magazine and sell advertising, even if the advertising was entirely for Korean businesses or if the magazine showed off Cheju places of worth to foreign visitors. I actually visited a few places that I read about in their magazine. A magazine like that would do so much to promote interesting places to go in Cheju like

약천사 Yakcheon Temple in Seogwipo.


Or the Maze Park 미로공원



It’s like the maze in The Shining, and actually it’s the product of Fred Ditto, a long time foreign resident of Cheju who started planting the hedges 20 years ago.  

Korea has a Ministry of Tourism trying to expand tourism in Korea. What do they do? They come up with slogans like “Hi Seoul!”  And spend billions of won making posters and buying TV air time. The idea that “Foreign tourists probably don’t speak Korean,” and that media in English, or Japanese, or Chinese, or any other language would be an asset never factors into the equation. In Korea, other than the Korean Herald or Korean Times, which are the thinnest newspapers in the world; both of which carry day old news, if you spend any time on the internet, what do you have to read, published by Koreans, if you are an English speaker? The answer is – you have nothing. But then again, at every major subway station in Seoul or Pusan, and just about every place with a seat, including subway trains, long distance busses, hospital waiting rooms, train stations or bus stations, or airports, or even some elevators in high rise buildings – there is always a TV playing. Why would you want something to read? 

 Tourism? In Korea? A few English language magazines that have stuff to read in addition to write-ups of things going on / things to do that week or month would surely boost tourism / business. There’s so much to do here. Why can’t Koreans utilize the media of ‘something to read’ as a way to market what they have. It’s not brain surgery.

 In Japan, you have SO many English language magazines. In addition to Tokyo Journal, Tokyo has

                  
Tokyo Families (free),                         Metropolis (free), and several others. 

Fukuoka has Fukuoka Now,

Osaka has Kansai Time Out, in publication for over 30 years. If you go to these cities for vacation, these are indispensable sources of information. They tell you what is happening that week – brewery tour times, movies, plays, museum exhibits, sporting events, restaurant reviews, cultural happenings, as well as stuff for sale, jobs available and people who possibly want to meet you (that’s where the money comes from).

 Every big city in the world has similar free weekly publications. New York has The Village Voice. LA has LA WEEKLY. San Francisco has Bay Area Guardian. I can list more, but you get the point. These American weekly papers are over 100 pages, they come out free and fresh each week, and tell you EVERYTHING that is going on that week – and there’s a lot to do in a metropolis.  Even Angeles City/Subic Bay in the Philippines has one -- City of Angels, which is published monthly and is free.

Seoul? Pusan? I guess there’s always soju bang, norebang, Dongha bars, etc. Unless you live there, or know people, there’s very little information in print form.

3. In Japan, if you have a working visa, you can teach privates legally. In Korea, you can’t. Nuff said. In Korea, if you are here on a work visa, you can only work at the place (or places) designated on your visa.  In Japan you are free to 'work,'

The last problem with Korea (that I will mention in this blog).

4. No motorcycles on Highways – Imagine being in America and wanting to ride your Kawasaki Ninja up the California coast from LA to SF. Yer on the 101 or the 5 and you get pulled over by the CHP – “Sorry sir, no motorcycles allowed on the highway.” What a joke! Many Koreans and foreigners drive Harley’s or large Hondas, Kawasakis, et al. Their engines are a lot larger than that of a Tico. Why can’t they drive on the highway?

 In Japan, and in America, motorcycles can drive on highways, and god as my witness, every driver knows – slower traffic keep right, or left in Japan. Here, nobody seems to heed that INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN COURTESY. Drive slow in the fast lane in Germany and you’ll get a ticket, or yelled at by passing German drivers, “Schizen, dumkopf!” Drive slow in the left lane in LA and you may get shot. And for the love of God, why don’t Korean drivers ever let ambulances pass. 

 Again, it’s not a selfish thing. It’s a universal consciousness saying, I don’t want to let him pass, because, no one else is letting him pass. Koreans are not necessarily rude. It’s just, they act like everybody else acts without giving it a second thought. Or even a first thought.

The first time I came to Korea, I lived in Taegu and my co-worker was an American guy who’d lived here for a year and a half. I remember thinking, “Wow, you’ve been here a long time!” Anywho, we were in downtown Taegu waiting to cross the street. I’d been in Korea a matter of days. It was a busy intersection. It was my first Saturday in Korea and there were maybe 20 Koreans standing on either side of us, also waiting to cross the street. The light was red and traffic was heavy. My friend said to me, “Watch this.” He feigned taking a step forward like he was going to start walking.  He lurched his leg forward like he was going to keep walking, and as he quickly drew back, everybody just started to cross. It was mayhem. Tires shrieked, people screamed, then jumped back onto the sidewalk. My friend snickered and said, “In Korea, people don’t wait for the light to change. They just wait for the first person to start walking and then everybody follows.” That will always stick in my mind. It’s been my metaphor for how Koreans think.

In conclusion – I’m reminded of a slogan contest given back in 2002 when the Ministry of Tourism was trying to come up with a slogan for Korea. “Come Back to Jamaica”, “Amazing Thailand” – something of that ilk. I actually had the 2^nd runner up – “Taste Korea.” Mine was picked 3^rd out of the lot and I never picked up my prize. In any event, the winner was “Dynamic Korea – The hub of Asia.” The hub of Asia? Gimme a break. Tokyo is the hub of Asia, just like Bangkok is the hub of SE Asia. That’s why Narita airport is the most common connecting point for most North American or European flights going to Korea, China, or Taiwan. And why the Nikko Hotel is always full, but no one ever pays to stay there – it’s filled with tourists flying out the next morning on connecting flights.