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HUNKY DORY
People on ludes should not drive
21 Months Gone with the Wind 
28th-Aug-2011 02:51 am
21 Months is the amount of time I’ve LIVED in America, since my 13.5 year Asian hiatus.  From 1996 - 2009, any time I spent in the US was vacation time.  And I couldn’t wait to get home to the other side of the Pacific Ocean!  

We are at present in August 2011.  One year ago, my first book, Culturebook was published.  One might say, in keeping with the Kinko’s is not a publisher spirit, that my book was barely a notch above Kinkos!  That may be true.  I did self-publish my book, which any fool with 1800 dollars and a computer can do, but I was pleased with the outcome.  It takes a wise fool, or sophmore, to churn out 275 pages that is a notch above drivel.  Those few who have read my Culturebook have enjoyed it, I hear.  Most people who have started my book have finished it; so as a reader, that says a lot.  Only one person has told me, “If it weren’t YOU who wrote the book, I would’ve stopped reading.” 


Furthermore, if anyone should desire a copy, I have plenty left.  I see copies, boxes of them, everyday, in my home.  I like that.  My book is truly underground.   While many can discount my Culturebook as NOT REALLY PUBLISHED, I’ve read a mountain of books in my life and while mine is worthy of severe criticism and possible lashings, I think it is as enjoyable as the best of them in its genre.  Culturebook looks like a book, reads like a book.  I’m happy with what I have created.  

Here is my point:  I’ve been back in LA for 21 months now, back Living in America like the James Brown song, and I still have no steady job or steady girl.  Really there is nothing steady about my life.  I’m free, living off the fat of the family.  My responsibilities are minimal and I have entire days free and clear with nothing pressing and nowhere I need to be.  How do I feel about that?  

Other than the fact that I'm not getting any, as the expression goes, I’d say everything is fine.  Still, I see my lack of female companionship more along the lines of: no women = no stress.  No bills to pay equals no stress; and with no money it's hard to date, so I just accept my life, which is easy to do.  I’m trying to keep my life in this no-stress-zone for as long as I can.  Like all things, my current lap of luxury, comfortable life is sure to end.  One day in the not to distant future, my heated pool and workless days will be gone like the wind, like my former cushy life in Asia.  

At this time, I consider myself a student.  I may not ‘work’ for a living, but I feel as though, if I were to get a job, I would be wasting a valuable opportunity.  And what is that opportunity?  The opportunity to write a great novel!  I haven’t written fiction in years.  I prefer documentary films to dramas these days as well.  Perhaps that says something about dramas currently being made, so many remakes of classics. 

Still, as a writer of non-fiction, I see writing fiction as a challenge.  I've learned to play drums like my idol Keith Moon in the last 21 months, I can write a Pulitzer Prize winning novel.  Gotta dream big...   I’m currently reading Gone With the Wind, which I’ve never read before.  I’ve never even seen the movie!  I don’t know the plot line.  I know the line, “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn!” from the movie.  I know there is a scene where Rhett Butler, played by Clark Cable, removes his shirt, and he’s not wearing any undershirt.  I know this because my parents would often mention that scene to me.  According to my father, “Audiences gasped at that!”  

This scene was relevant because, as a child, I did not like wearing an undershirt.  I still don’t, which caused me to stand out even more than I already did, working in South Korea, cuz there, every single man in every single school or office wears an undershirt.  I’m sure America was the same, once upon a time.  My mother used to tell me, “Who do you think you are, Clark Cable?”  Culture makes people do peculiar things.   

So far, I really enjoy Margaret Mitchell’s story-telling.  She is really descriptive.  After 12 pages, I can totally see Scarlet O’hara.  I know exactly what she looks like: that she is a green-eyed beauty with ample bosom and child-rearing hips (Mitchell never actually uses that expression); that she is petty, impetuous and conniving. 

The copy I am reading is a paperback published in 1970, 41 years ago and 34 years after it was first published.  It is 862 pages of thin, really small print, and a tad fragile, so I must be ginger with it.   I know I should be out looking for a date, or a job, but I’m a student and I have to do my homework.  My homework is reading this book, taking notes – there are so many words and phrases new to me, like the exclamations You can just Go to Hallifax! instead of Go to Hell! and God’s Nightgown! which I think is actually Irish, like Scarlett’s planter father.  A Planter is what they called Plantation owners, which doesn't really make sense since the 'field hands' did all the planting, and all the picking.  After the ravage of Georgia, when Scarlett is left to run Tara Plantation after all the field hands have fled, even Mammy and the other house slaves feel that field work is beneath them. 


On the subject of dating – If I were to meet a girl, say today, or any day for the last 21 months, I could totally use the George Costanza line, “My name is George.  I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”  Except my father is dead and my name is not George.                          

Ellen’s life was not easy, nor was it happy, but she did not expect life to be easy, and if it was not happy, that was woman’s lot.  It was a man’s world, and she accepted it as such.  The man owned the property, and the woman managed it.  The man took the credit for the management, and the woman praised his cleverness.  The man roared like a bull when a splinter was in his finger, and the woman muffled the moans of childbirth, lest she disturb him.  Men were rough of speech and often drunk. Women ignored the lapses of speech and put the drunkards to bed without bitter words.  Men were rude and outspoken, women were always kind, gracious and forgiving.  – Ellen is the mother of Scarlett O’Hara  

I’m very much enjoying Gone With the Wind.  After 5 days I just hit page 400.  Half-way home.  It is their Southern Comfort way of Life that is gone with the wind…  Drama is about people changing.  Scarlett begins the novel a dainty, spoiled brat; and in the last hundred pages, she delivered her sister-in-law's baby AND she just shot a Yankee in the face killing him right in her living room.  A lone Union Soldier entered her house alone, intent on robbing them and probably raping her.  Before he has the chance to do or say anything, BANG!  Then she takes her sister-in-law Melanie's top to wrap the head in, so blood won't drip on the lawn and alert people of the killing, as she drags the corpse into the yard to bury it, while Melanie covers her breasts in shame, after they riffled through his pockets and retrieved a wallet full of Union Greenbacks, Confederate Bills and gold coins.  I wonder if that's going to be in the movie. 

I've got 400 pages to go!  I can't remember the last time I was this excited.  I can't wait to create a novel somewhere in the ball park of Gone with the Wind.  

It's Saturday night.  I just took a break to watched Paul McCartney on Saturday Night Live with Paul Rudd hosting.  It was a repeat from last year 2010. 

The Beatles changed music and helped shape a generation.  Lots of musicians and artists and writers ‘changed the world’, such as Elvis, John Lennon, James Brown, and others.  They are all dead.   On Saturday Night Live, Paul McCartney and his band played more than 4 songs, unheard of on Saturday Night Live, but given SNL’s recent dearth of decent material, it wasn’t such a bad idea.  They performed Jet, Band on the Run, A Day in the Line, which segued into Give Peace a Chance which ended with the crowd singing along with just drums; and the closing credits rolled over the band doing Get Back.  

Paul McCartney turns 70 next year and he can still rock like a youth.  Keith Moon, born four years after McCartney, died when he was only 32.  I only mention this because Moon spent his last evening alive on this Earth with the McCartney’s. 

Moon had been a resident of Los Angeles, but he and his girlfriend Annette flew to London to be McCartney’s guest at the British premier of The Buddy Holly Story, a great 1978 movie starring Gary Busey as the Lubbock, Texas rocker.  Buddy Holly is another musician who changed the face of music; and who is also no longer with us. 

After the movie, Moon and Annette dined with the McCartney’s in Covent Garden.  Then each couple retired to their respective flats.  Moon and Annette were staying in the house of Harry Nilsson.  Moon had been prescribed Clomethiazole to counter his alcohol withdrawals, on account of he was ‘trying to quit’ booze.  The coroner found 32 pills in his system – 26 undigested.  The 6 digested pills had been enough to kill him.   

Paul McCartney is a well-known marijuana smoker.  If a pot smoker can spend 50 years of his life on stage making music that touches lives so deeply as to shape generations, how can pot not be legal?   To think that 47 years ago this year, Paul McCartney playing alongside John Lennon and George Harrison and backed by Ringo Starr on drums, first came to America and played the Ed Sullivan Show and Carnegie Hall in February 1964.  They’d been touring the UK, on stage nearly every night the entire year 1963. 

These are the Beatles Tour dates for 13 months, 5 years before I was born:

TOUR OF SCOTLAND, 1963 3 January    Two Red Shoes, Elgin 4 January    Town Hall, Dingwall 5 January    Museum Hall, Bridge of Allan 6 January    Beach Ballroom, Aberdeen UK DATES, January 1963 10 January     Grafton Rooms, Liverpool 11 January     Cavern Club, Liverpool 11 January     Plaza Ballroom, Old Hill 12 January     Invicta Ballroom, Chatham 14 January     Civic Hall, Wirral 17 January     Cavern Club, Liverpool 17 January     Majestic Ballroom, Birkenhead 18 January     Floral Hall, Morecambe 19 January     Town Hall, Whitchurch 20 January     Cavern Club, Liverpool 23 January     Cavern Club, Liverpool 24 January     Assembly Hall, Flintshire 25 January     Co-operative Hall, Darwen 26 January     El Rio Club, Macclesfield 26 January     King’s Hall, Stoke-on-Trent 27 January     Three Coins Club, Manchester 28 January     Majestic Ballroom, Newcastle-upon-Tyne 30 January     Cavern Club, Liverpool 1 February     Assembly Rooms, Tamworth 1 February     Maney Hall, Sutton Coldfield HELEN SHAPIRO TOUR PART 1, 1963 2 February     Gaumont, Bradford BREAK IN TOUR 3 February     Cavern Club, Liverpool 4 February     Cavern Club, Liverpool RESUME TOUR 5 February     Gaumont, Doncaster 6 February     Granada, Bedford 7 February     Regal, Kirkgate 8 February     ABC, Carlisle 9 February     Empire, Sunderland BREAK IN TOUR 12 February     Azena Ballroom, Sheffield 12 February     Astoria Ballroom, Oldham 13 February     Majestic Ballroom, Hull 14 February     Locarno Ballroom, Liverpool 15 February     Ritz, Birmingham 16 February     Carfax Assembly, Oxford 18 February     Queen’s Hall, Widness 19 February     Cavern Club, Liverpool 20 February     Swimming Baths, Docanster 21 February     Majestic Ballroom, Birkenhead 22 February     Oasis Club, Manchester HELEN SHAPIRO TOUR PART 2 23 February     Granada, Mansfield 24 February     Coventry Theatre, Coventry 26 February     Gaumont, Taunton 27 February     Rialto, York 28 February     Granada, Shrewsbury 1 March     Odeon, Southport 2 March     City Hall, Sheffield 3 March     Gaurnont, Hanley UK DATES, March 1963 4 March     Plaza Ballroom, St. Helens 7 March     Elizabethan Ballroom, Nottingham 8 March     The Royal Hall, Harrogate TOMMY ROE/CHRIS MONTEZ TOUR, 1963 9 March     Granada, East Ham 10 March     Hippodrome, Birmingham 12 March     Granada, Bedford 13 March     Rialto, York 14 March     Gaumont, Wolverhampton 15 March     Colston Hall, Bristol 16 March     City Hall, Sheffield 17 March     Embassy, Peterborough 18 March     Regal, Gloucester 19 March     Regal, Cambridge 20 March     ABC, Romford 21 March     ABC, Croydon 22 March     Gaumont, Doncaster 23 March     City Hall, Newcastle-upon-Tyne 24 March     Empire, Liverpool 26 March     Granada, Mansfield 27 March     ABC, Northampton 28 March     ABC, Exeter 29 March     Odeon, Lewisham 30 March     Guildhall, Portsmouth 31 March     De Montfort Hall, Leicester
UK DATES, Spring 1963 4 April     Roxburgh Hall, Stowe 5 April     Swimming Baths, Leyton, London 6 April     Pavilion Gardens, Buxton 7 April     Savoy Ballroom, Portsmouth 9 April     Gaumont State Cinema, Kilburn, London 10 April     Majestic Ballroom, Birkenhead 11 April     Co-operative Hall, Middleton 12 April     Cavern Club, Liverpool 15 April     Riverside Dancing Club, Tenbury Wells 17 April     Majestic Ballroom, Luton 18 April     Swimming Sound ’63, Royal Albert Hall, London 19 April     King’s Hall, Stoke-on-Trent 20 April     Mersey View Pleasure Grounds, Warrington 21 April     NME Poll Winners Concert, Empire Pool, Wembley 21 April     Pigalle Club, Piccadilly, London 23 April     Floral Hall, Southport 24 April     Majestic Ballroom, Finsbury Park, London 25 April     Fairfield Hall, Croydon 26 April     Music Hall, Shrewsbury 27 April     Memorial Hall, Northwich 11 May     Imperial Ballroom, Nelson 14 May     Rink Ballroom, Sunderland 15 May     Royalty Theatre, Chester 17 May     Grosvenor Rooms, Norwich ROY ORBISON/BEATLES TOUR, 1963 18 May     Adelphi, Slough 19 May     Gaumont, Hanley 20 May     Gaumont, Southampton 22 May     Gaumont, Ipswich 23 May     Odeon, Nottingham 24 May     Granada, Walthamstow 25 May     City Hall, Sheffield 26 May     Empire, Liverpool 28 May     Gaumont, Worcester 29 May     Rialto, York 30 May     Odeon, Manchester 31 May     Odeon, Southend-on-Sea 1 June     Granada, Tooting 2 June     Hippodrome, Brighton 3 June     Granada, Woolwich 4 June     Town Hall, Birmingham 5 June     Odeon, Leeds 7 June     Odeon, Glasgow 8 June     City Hall, Newcastle-upon-Tyne 9 June     King George's Hall, Blackburn UK DATES, Summer 1963 10 June     Pavilion, Bath 12 June     Grafton Rooms, Liverpool 13 June     Palace Theatre Club, Cheshire 13 June     Southern Sporting Club, Manchester 14 June     Tower Ballroom, New Brighton 15 June     City Hall, Salisbury 16 June     Odeon Cinema, Romford 21 June     Odeon Cinema, Guildford 22 June     Town Hall, Monmouthshire 25 June     Astoria Ballroom, Middlesbrough 26 June     Majestic Ballroom, Newcastle-upon-Tyne 28 June     Queen’s Hall, Leeds 30 June     ABC Cinema, Great Yarmouth 5 July     Plaza Ballroom, Old Hill 6 July     Memorial Hall, Northwich 7 July     ABC Theatre, Blackpool 8-13 July     Winter Gardens, Margate 14 July     ABC Theatre, Blackpool 19-20 July     Ritz Ballroom, Flintshire 21 July     Queen’s Theatre, Blackpool 22-27 July     Odeon Theatre, Weston-super-Mare 28 July     ABC Cinema, Great Yarmouth 31 July     Imperial Ballroom, Nelson 2 August     Grafton Rooms, Liverpool 3 August     Cavern Club, Liverpool 4 August     Queen’s Theatre, Blackpool 5 August     Abbotsfield Park, Urmston 6-7 August     The Springfield Ballroom, Jersey, Channel Islands 8 August     Candie Gardens, Guernssey, Channel Islands 9-10 August     The Springfield Ballroom, Jersey, Channel Islands 11 August     ABC Theatre, Blackpool 12-17 August     Odeon Cinema, Caernarvonshire 18 August     Princess Theatre Torquay 19-24 August     Gaumont Cinema, Bournemouth 25 August     ABC Cinema, Blackpool 26-31 August     Odeon Cinema, Southport 4 September     Gaumont Cinema, Worcester 5 September     Gaumont Cinema, Taunton 6 September     Odeon Cinema, Luton 7 September     Fairfield Hall, Croydon 8 September     ABC Theatre, Blackpool 13 September     Public Hall, Preston 14 September     Memorial Hall, Northwich 15 September     Great Pop Prom, Royal Albert Hall, London BEATLES MINI-TOUR OF SCOTLAND, 1963 5 October     Concert Hall, Glasgow 6 October     Carlton, Kirkcaldy 7 October     Caird Hall, Dundee UK DATES, October 1963 11 October     Trentham Gardens, Trentham 13 October     London Palladium, London 15 October     Floral Hall, Southport 19 October     Pavilion Gardens Ballroom, Buxton BEATLES TOUR OF SWEDEN, 1963 25 October     Sundsta-aulan, Karlstad 26 October     Kungliga Hallen, Stockholm 27 October     Cirkus, Goteborg 28 October     Borashallen, Boras 29 October     Sporthallen, Eskilstuna BEATLES AUTUMN TOUR, 1963 1 November     Odeon, Cheltenham 2 November     City Hall, Sheffield 3 November     Odeon, Leeds BREAK IN TOUR 4 November     Royal Variety Show, Prince of Wales Theatre, London RESUME TOUR 5 November     Adelphi, Slough 6 November     ABC, Northampton 7 November     Adelphi, Dublin 8 November     Ritz, Belfast 9 November     Granada, East Ham 10 November     Hippodrome, Birmingham 13 November     ABC, Plymouth 14 November     ABC, Exeter 15 November     Colston Hall, Bristol 16 November     Winter Gardens, Bournemouth 17 November     Coventry Theatre, Coventry 19 November     Gaumont, Wolverhampton 20 November     ABC, Ardwick 21 November     ABC, Carlisle 22 November     Globe, Stockton-on-Tees 23 November     City Hall, Newcastle-upon-Tyne 24 November     ABC, Hull 26 November     Regal, Cambridge 27 November     Rialto, York 28 November     ABC, Lincoln 29 November     ABC, Huddersfield 30 November     Empire, Sunderland 1 December     De Montfort Hall, Leicester BREAK IN TOUR 2 December     Grosvenor House Hotel, London RESUME TOUR 3 December     Guildhall, Portsmouth BREAK IN TOUR 7 December     Empire Theatre, Liverpool RESUME TOUR 7 December     Odeon, Liverpool 8 December     Odeon, Lewisham 9 December     Odeon, Southend-on-Sea 10 December     Gaumont, Doncaster 11 December     Futurist, Scarborough 12 December     Odeon, Nottingham 13 December     Gaumont, Southampton END OF TOUR 14 December     Wimbledon Palais, Wimbledon, London
THE BEATLES CHRISTMAS SHOW, 1963 21 December     Christmas Show Preview, Gaumont Cinema, Bradford 22 December     Christmas Show Preview, Empire Theatre, Liverpool 24 December     The Beatles Christmas Show, Astoria Cinema, London 26-28 December     The Beatles Christmas Show, Astoria Cinema, London 30-31 December     The Beatles Christmas Show, Astoria Cinema, London 1964 1-4 January     The Beatles Christmas Show, Astoria Cinema, London 5-11 January     The Beatles Christmas Show, Astoria Cinema, London END SHOW 12 January     London Palladium, London
VISIT TO FRANCE, 1964 15 January     Cinema Cyrano, Versailles 16 January – 4 February     Olympia Theatre, Paris VISIT TO USA, 1964 9 February     Ed Sullivan Show, CBS Television Studios, New York City 11 February     Washington Coliseum, Washington DC 12 February     Carnegie Hall, New York City 16 February     Ed Sullivan Show, Deauville Hotel, Miami
Comments 
3rd-Sep-2011 03:20 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
I enjoyed your book.
Bet my mum n dad were at a couple of those cavern gigs.

scouser
4th-Sep-2011 05:21 pm (UTC)
That's the coolest thing I've heard all week.

Do you know that doofus, Steven Colbert? Not a fan, but I was at my band leader's house and he was showing me this Colbert interviewing McCartney video, saying it was so funny, and I found it to be most insulting. He's talking to Paul about John all disrespectful, trying to get a laugh.

No musician on the planet has the span of McCartney. Nobody. Anybody who was ever as great as he, is dead. Thanks for enjoying my book. The next one is sure to be better. Couldn't be any worse, right?
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