culturebook (culturebook) wrote,

Imagine If You Were a Rock Star

I would hate to be the Rock Star who yells out the wrong city name he’s playing in. 

“We love you Chicago!”  “Yer in Cleveland, you MFer!”  “We love being back in Liverpool!”  “This is Bournemouth, you git!”  What’s funny is, it works with most any two cities.  “We love you Edinburgh!”  “This is Newcastle!  Throw yer beer at that tosser!”  "We can't wait to come back to Minninapolis!”  “Ce Montreal, bouffon!”  I can totally see someone like Keith Moon, or Ozzy back in his Sabbath days, doing that.  Not to diss or besmirch the town, just cuz they’ve been so continuously drunk and high and on the road, tour bus planes trains and automobiles;  that all the hotels start to look the same, and they have no idea what city they are in, and on one particular day, they just don’t care to find out. 
Perhaps before one Who show in the 1970's, some night when Roger was out of it.  Supposing, Roger asked Keith right before they went on stage, “Where the fuck are we again, mate?”  And Keith told him the wrong city for a prank.  It’s something Keith Moon might do, just to have a laugh.  I imagine Keith Moon never passed on an opportunity to laugh, which surely rubbed most people the wrong way.  I can empathize.  I’m cut from the same cloth.  I think some famous singer calling out the wrong city name would be the funniest thing in the world, and I’m sure Keith Moon would have thought it funny, too.  I wouldn’t even need drugs or alcohol to laugh.  I laugh even when I imagine it happening!
Here’s the JOKE, the first Million Dollar question.  Feel free to answer in the comments section.  If this happened in YOUR city:  If you were at some stadium show watching your favorite Rock Star and he or she, for whatever reason, yelled out the wrong city name.

Would you...

  1. Think that was hilarious! And look forward to seeing it on Youtube to relive the laughter. 
  1. Get really angry that your guitar hero kind of dissed your city.  Would it make you mad enough to make you wanna boycott this guitar queero, to quote South Park?  I’m sure many residents of Denver would do just that, if Bono said, "We love you Detroit!" by mistake.  The local papers would have a field day.  "He said LA, but this is clearly Lake Arrowhead!"
    Let's take it a step further, while we are on the subject of Rock Stars.  If YOU were a famous Rock Star like Axel Rose, with a one-of-a-kind sound and unique look.  I once saw a guy, on Halloween night, in Pusan South Korea – a Canadian or American guy.  He came dressed as Axel Rose.  He came 3rd in a contest.  He didn't sing for money or nothing, but everyone knew at first glance.  All night, everybody called him:  Axel!  Actually, I wasn't even there.  I saw pictures of him on the Pusan Web's photos from Halloween 2008.  He did win 3rd prize.  He may have sang a song.
    Anywho!  This Second Million Dollar question is:  If YOU were a famous rock star in the US and the World, and you went to the island of Cebu in the Philippines, and you saw a guy dressed just like you doing YOUR act, on stage with a Pinay band playing your tunes.  You learn that this guy makes a boatload of money doing You.  You learn of others in the world making heaps of dough, doing your act in small cities across America and all over the World.  Even in Tokyo, there is a Japanese you!  In LA and New York and Chicago – there’s a Tribute band doing You.  Perhaps yer old and washed up and don’t look like You used to, but they are currently making money doing You, playing you.

    The question is, if while on vacation in Cebu, taking in the sites with your lady, relaxing in a bar with live music; even in Hollywood – if you saw a guy impersonating you as his job to make money.
    Would you...
    1. Think it’s cool and party with the guy.  Invite him to your table during his break.  Drink Tanduay Rum him and say that you are flattered.  Even go up on stage and do a song with him.  He's gotta recongnize you, even if no one else does.

    2.  Demand that he stop.  Cease and desist, you call out in word and action.  Demand that ALL of them either pay you some kind of Royalty, or stop making money off of your likeness.  And when you can’t stop them, you stay bitter about it.
    Or both.  First, party with the guy.  Second, stick him for all you can, or for what is rightfully yours; however you choose to see it. 

    It’s a fair question.  As fair as any other hypothetical quandries I can think of.  ME?  I’m a Number One guy on both accounts.  Which would you choose, the Red Pill or the Blue?
    In closing, if any comedians or other people want to use my Rock Star City Mistake Joke for their act -- the first line of this piece is pretty tight -- or if any body wants to take any other hip line I write on my blog, feel free.  In this age of information, no idea belongs to any single person.  It's about time people realize that.  This private property concept has really gotten out of hand.  There are more important things than making money and protecting intellectual property.  Like laughing. 

    Leave a comment, please.

    • Post a new comment


      default userpic
      When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
      You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.